A prayer – or set of fractured prayers – after a prayer isn’t answered

I prayed, Lord. I prayed for your blessing over this, I prayed for your protection, I prayed for your help. But you didn’t provide. 

It seems like you folded your arms and walked away.

Why? 

This seems so unreasonable, so unnecessary. This wasn’t too hard for you.

Words aren’t coming easy. I suppose I want to write away the pain, rationalize it until the sadness and grief disappear. 

I know you’re in this. You have to be. Your Word says that you are a compassionate God, a loving Father, a life-breathing Creator. You are patient and kind and abounding in blessings for the undeserving.

So why not here?

Why withhold blessing here?

Reveal your grief, Lord. Remind me of Lazarus and help me see your indignation over sin and death. Help my unbelief, open my eyes. Let me see you here. 

You give life to the birds, but you didn’t give life to this.

It’s so unexpected. It was never supposed to be this way. 

You didn’t create us for death, for pain. I know. I see that in the purity of Eden. 

And even there, even in the beginning of the beginning, you created with a plan to get us through what was ahead. You yourself would drink of your own medicine and endure the sentence prescribed, endure the death forewarned. [1]

But it’s still not easy. It’s so hard to believe your presence, to receive your comfort when I feel so alone, so abandoned.

Would you reveal a purpose, Lord? Would you reveal your mercy? Would you reveal the beauty of new life from seeds planted in this darkness?

Father cover our flesh and help us pray through the processing. Help us pray when we don’t feel like it. Help us pray when we don’t see fruit. Help us pray when we don’t hear the response we’re seeking. 

Help us believe you’re not done with this yet.

Spirit of God, cover us when we don’t have words. Speak on our behalf.

Redeem this, Lord. What the enemy has brought in attack, we know you are already prepared to use for good. We appeal to your Word and declare it over the future and beg, Lord God. Save many lives. 

Magnify the impact of this, Lord. Draw many unto you and multiply your kingdom. This is not the end.

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. – Gen 50:20 NIV

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. – Eph 3:20-21 ESV

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[1] “For whatever reason God chose to make man as he is— limited and suffering and subject to sorrows and death—He had the honesty and the courage to take His own medicine. Whatever game He is playing with His creation, He has kept His own rules and played fair. He can exact nothing from man that He has not exacted from Himself. He has Himself gone through the whole of human experience, from the trivial irritations of family life and the cramping restrictions of hard work and lack of money to the worst horrors of pain and humiliation, defeat, despair and death. When He was a man, He played the man. He was born in poverty and died in disgrace and thought it well worthwhile.”
― Dorothy L. Sayers, Creed or Chaos? and Lost Tools of Learning

God Over the Unexpected – Soaking in the Son