Growing up in church, I used to be the kid who raised her hand and prayed the salvation prayer every opportunity presented. Maybe I was afraid God had forgotten since the previous week. Maybe I wasn’t convinced the first few prayers had “worked”. Maybe I was so scared of Hell that I would raise my hand every week for the rest of my life just to make sure I didn’t go there. I don’t remember my logic, but I do remember, my mom caught on.
“Didn’t you already do that?” she bent down to ask.
“Yes…” I replied, a bit embarrassed.
“You don’t need to keep doing it, God listens the first time.”
My mother might have been sure, but I remained skeptical. I stopped raising my hand after that day, but I can’t promise I stopped “praying the prayer”. How could I really know if I was saved?
Fast forward a whole lot of years, a whole lot of weeks at church, and a whole lot of Bible studies and blog posts about Jesus. I sat in my van, parked in my garage, hiding from my kids as I sent a Marco Polo video message to a distant friend. “But really, what if I’m the exception?” I questioned her in all seriousness. “What if I’m not even saved?”
A day later, listening to her response, I anticipated how she might nod her head in agreement. But instead, she laughed. Not at me, but at the things we are led to believe, while not even giving breath to the idea that God would fail to honor his promises to any one of his children. “In our flesh, we aren’t prone to believe truth,” she coaxed.
I felt mild relief. She was probably right. But still, what if I was the exception…
The Bible teaches that God is Holy, and man is sinful. But God has offered a way for us to be cleansed, that we might be at peace with God. And throughout scripture, we’re offered an invitation – that if we believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, then we can be saved from the dominion of sin and darkness and instead transferred into his eternal kingdom of life and light.
It’s his promise.
God is not a feeling, and praise him, neither are his promises. God is faithful. He does not change or lie. If we respond to his invitation to believe in him, he is mighty to save.
Writing things down or talking to a friend can help process what we’re feeling, thinking and believing. And it might provide mild relief, or possibly grant a great necessary change in perspective. But as a pattern throughout a life of following Jesus, we will all find that it is simply hard to believe Him sometimes. “In our flesh, we aren’t prone to believe truth.”
So then what?
The same thing every time. We can be reminded of who God is. What he has done. And what it means for us.
God is Creator. Lord of All. Sovereign. And when our flesh and our actions went against him, He made the choice to come get us. To give up his own life so we could be near. So we could have a relationship with him.
I know that uncertainty over salvation can come from a whole variety of reasons. And can even come from a whole variety of scripture. Yet I bet none of it will be resolved in its entirety by a single profound answer, let alone a short blog post. But by the life, death and resurrection of Christ, we have been brought into relationship with the Lord. So instead of only trying to convince ourselves, we can also come to Him and ask that he takes care of the hard things for us. We can pour out our hearts in worship and petition. And we can listen. Again and again.
Maybe we still sneak an occasional side arm raise at church when a salvation prayer is offered, or maybe we still sneak a little hideout minute in our van to send an SOS message to our friend. Life happens to us all. But regardless, may we also continually come to the one who calls us son and daughter. He’s always ready to listen.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. – John 3:16-17
Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.” – John 6:35
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6
And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” – Acts 16:31
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Romans 5:1
Because if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. – Romans 10:9
For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” – Romans 10:13, Joel 2:32
Yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ – Galatians 2:16
Sing: This is Our God
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Salvation
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