My Kids Are Driving Me Nuts

I had had enough. I was a children’s ministry leader, teaching K-5, and herding cattle when I was assigned to be leading worship. It felt so chaotic, week after week, watching these sweet darlings run laps, crawl on the floor, pester siblings and try to escape when they should be singing, dancing, and worshiping the Lord God. So I extra-committed it to prayer that week. And the prayers felt so spiritual. I was so expectant to see God answer with peace and obedience radically changing the atmosphere of the worship room.

I got to church that Sunday so pumped up, like I knew something no one else did. We finished our routine welcome activity as kids filed into class, and we lined up at the door for the worship center. Here we go, I thought.

We arrived in the room, screen set for lyrics and volume up for excitement. And the music started. And the kids were just as bonkers as they had been every week prior.

I sighed inwardly as I continued to sing and model the motions outwardly.

I felt so defeated. So betrayed by God for not answering my prayers like I was so confident he would. And so frustrated over the apparent lack of respect for the Lord.

That’s when God whispered ever so gently, “But I made them to be silly.”

It’s July. We’re halfway through summer, and I know I am not the only parent who sometimes finds herself secretly counting down the minutes until she can ship off her little angels to classrooms and drive away in silence and freedom. But I think of that church morning sometimes, and wonder, how much am I missing out on if I don’t lean into their silliness while I can?

I know we are all human. I can only take so much dinosaur shrieking and constant clobbering myself. And this is not a petition to cease discipline, Lord knows our kids need it. But this is a reminder that although they may and most definitely will drive us crazy, children are a gift from God. They are a joy and not a burden. They are a delight and not an inconvenience. 

We have so many social media videos about how annoying kids are and how exhausting parenting is and how much better life is without them. But it’s entirely opposite a Biblical view. Jesus wanted the children to come to him. He told us we needed faith like a child. That we are blessed to have children. And that age doesn’t dispel the power of God in youth. 

There is so much we can learn from our kids, and so much joy they can bring to our lives if only we let them. If we join in the silliness. If we worship God for the way their tiny little minds work. If we lean in and gift them with our presence the way our Father leans in and gifts us with His.

And naturally, I think the more we lean into God’s presence the more capable we become of leaning into our kids. It’s a process, and it’s a relationship, and honestly I’m not even sure it’s linear. But it’s significant. Because our children matter. Because they were created on purpose by God. On purpose to be part of this rising generation. On purpose for bringing the Gospel of Truth out into this world of growing individualism with no moral bottom. God doesn’t make mistakes.

It’s been several years since that crazy Sunday that God whispered into my ear his real answer to my prayers. And I’m still learning what it really means to marry silliness with discipline and respect. I suppose I will be on this journey forever. But I also know that it’s an honor to raise these kids, to love their friends, to share in their joy, and to be a part of the sacred work that God is already doing in their wild, silly, influential hearts. 

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To my children… This work wasn’t written for you but around you. While you played, I studied and thought deeply about the nature of God. While you were away at school or in your rooms, I wrote as much of it as I could. At times you interrupted me with the want to tell me something or show me anything, and whenever you did, I thought to myself, This is holy, too. There is a child-like purity in the way you look to me for most things. 
– Jackie Hill Perry, in her book dedication for Holier than Thou

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Psalm 127:3-5
Matthew 18:3, Matthew 19:14, Mark 10:14, Luke 18:16-17
Acts 2:38-39, 1 Timothy 4:12